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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28222197">Petrichor(The Sweet smell of rain)</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yakus_heart/pseuds/Yakus_heart'>Yakus_heart</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Haikyuu!!</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Hospital, Character Death, Gen, Hospitalization, I'm Going to Hell, I'm Sorry, Leukemia, M/M, Sick Character</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 15:13:43</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>16,479</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28222197</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yakus_heart/pseuds/Yakus_heart</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>"So...you'll stick by me?"</p><p>"Of course I will. I'm not going to be one of the people who walk out of your life because you're sick. I'm gonna stick around and see you through to the end, Suga."</p><p>"The end…What is the end for a twenty-year-old with Leukemia?"</p><p>."Well…The end is when you're no longer suffering from this. So I guess if you really wanted to put it that way, the end could be when you finally beat it or...it could be when you die, I guess. Let's aim for the first one, though. Okay?"</p><p>Suga chuckles softly, holding onto his hand with a honey-sweet smile and a honey-sweet voice that says "Okay."</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Sawamura Daichi/Sugawara Koushi</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Gray Clouds</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>The doc for this fic was started on Dec 3rd. I promise the next parts won't take that long at all.</p><p>I had a lot of fun writing this and think I'll have a lot of fun continuing to write it's it took a whole damn month and now here we are. I have to excuse for writing this, honestly, I'm sorry in advance.</p><p>On another note, I really love writing and would highly appreciate any shares or comments. I really enjoy creating and if you could leave a comment after reading the chapter and stuff telling me how you feel, your thoughts, what you liked, did you cry? Whatever, those things. It would be really important to me and hearing my reader's thoughts and opinions is really important to me and motivates me to keep writing more. </p><p>Enjoy!<br/>~Author-san</p><p>P.S: come yell at me on Twitter @yakus_heart</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>Petrichor. The pleasant smell that usually follows the first rain. The smell he remembered even when surrounded by the chemicals of a hospital room.</em>
</p><p>—————</p><p><br/>
Some people like the rain and others don't. Daichi hated the rain. Even more than that, though, he hated walking in it. With or without an umbrella, it was annoying. Rainy days were dull and depressing, so he hated them. Rainy days also got his shoes wet as he walked into the hospital and took a deep breath. It smelled like cleaning supplies as usual. He knows exactly where he's going: to the waiting room where he would wait for the doctor to call his name and check out his injured knee. This is what he gets for playing Volleyball with his friends.<br/>
The chairs in the waiting room are made of wood frames and cushions that aren't that soft, but he sits there with his elbow on the armrest, propping up his head as he scrolls through his phone. Beside him, a male shifts in his seat, causing him to look up again. The person beside him is looking in the other direction, but he could already pick out a few interesting details.<br/>
He had silvery short hair and pale skin. His leg was constantly shaking with anxiety, his hands fiddling with the string of his hoodie. When he finally looks in his direction, Daichi's eyes widen with surprise. His eyes are a soft hazel color with a mole just below the corner of his left eye. He smiles nervously.<br/>
"Hey,"<br/>
"Hey."<br/>
For a reason unbeknownst to him, he's curious about this guy. There's bad bruising on his right cheek that makes a bit of anxiety rise in his chest. "Are you okay?" He asks.<br/>
"I'm in the hospital," the guy replies with a gentle smile and a gentle chuckle. "And so are you, are <em>you</em> okay?"<br/>
Daichi feels the heat creep up his face, and watching the smaller man cover his mouth with his bruised hand when he laughs at his reaction makes his face even redder. The brunette sighs and leans his head back to look at the ceiling. "You're right, all I did was bust my knee, you look like you got into a fight," he says and tilts his head to the side to meet his eyes again.<br/>
"Oh, right, I'm here for some blood tests. Trying to...get some answers about it, y'know? A few months ago I wouldn't have gotten more than a scratch from falling such a short distance, so...let's hope it's just a one-time bad outcome," the silver-haired guy crosses his fingers in the American gesture for good luck. Daichi nods and does it too which causes both to laugh.<br/>
"Oh yeah, I never asked your name," hazel-brown eyes sparkle with curiosity.<br/>
"Right, uh, Daichi Sawamura."<br/>
"Koushi Sugawara. It's nice to meet you. It's been a minute since I met a nice stranger," he says, scribbling in a small notebook in his lap.<br/>
Before Daichi can respond, Koushi’s last name is called out. With a sigh, he stands up, wincing as he does. "Hey, think you will be here when I'm done?" He asks, turning to him. When Daichi nods, he smiles and hurries off. The brunette takes a moment to think as he watches him go. His eyes drifted down to the seat where he'd sat and now laid a paper. He picks it up and flips it over, pink blush filling his cheeks again.<br/>
<em>"Here's my number, see you later :)"</em><br/>
Daichi's heart might've skipped a beat just then. As his name was called he shoved the paper into the pocket of his jacket, standing up to greet the doctor.<br/>
The appointment went by in a blur and he'd be fine. He was curious about how Sugawara's appointment went but had no clue where he was. So he waited in the rain he hated. He still hated the rain but hated it a little less when he was waiting for someone. When the make arrives, he waves a little and stands beside him, beneath the shelter of the umbrella.<br/>
"So, what exactly are you thinking right now?" Daichi asked, his gaze meeting Koushi's. "Um…" is his initial response, but he quickly perks up again.<br/>
"Well if you wanted to, we could go to the nearby cafe? Ya like coffee?"<br/>
"Yeah,"<br/>
"Then that's where we'll go!" Even in the dull and gloomy atmosphere of a rainy spring day, he has a little bit of sunshine next to him. As the sign turns green they walk side-by-side across the street. Sugawara is shivering a lot within a minute, but they weren't exactly close enough yet for him to feel like he could do anything that wouldn't be seen as weird. So he walks beside him and lets him shiver.<br/>
A sigh of relief leaves them both as they finally enter the warmth of the cafe. They choose a table and sit for a while, Suga putting his head down on the table. "Are you okay?" Sawamura asked with a slight tilt of his head. He doesn't get an answer, reaching over to move his bangs out of his face to check, but right before he. would touch him, Koushi looked up without lifting his head. He smiled faintly.<br/>
"I'm fine. Just cold."<br/>
"You're pale."<br/>
"I always am,"<br/>
"Why?" The round of questions are expected, but the change in Koushi's expression tells a story that he isn't sure was meant to be told. Sugawara doesn't look away, he simply responds "I'm sick. Can we not talk about it?"<br/>
After a brief hesitation, he nods. He wouldn't make him talk, although he was a bit concerned. He decides to push Sugawara's bangs away anyway. They smile at each other. Koushi sits up and stretches with a yawn. "So, how'd you hurt your knee?"<br/>
"Oh, damn that's an embarrassing story," he chuckles. "My friends are volleyball players. We all played in high school, I was a wing spiker. Decided to play again and well- I'm not as good as I used to be."<br/>
"No way, really? I used to be a setter. I didn't get to play much, though."<br/>
“Aww, why’s that?” Daichi asked. Koushi sighed and shrugged, finally sitting up properly. “Wasn’t good enough. Got diagnosed in my third year. And that was what- two years ago? Jeez, two years…” Koshi covers his mouth with his hand, suddenly beginning to tear up. ”Damn...damnit damnit, I'm sorry, gimme a second…" he puts his elbows on the table and hides his face, the bruises on the back of his palms are prominent and larger than they were when they had met just an hour or so ago.<br/>
"Take your time…" Daichi sighs. There were few times in his life where he had a chance to realize just how insignificant some of his problems are. Whatever his new...friend was going through was a lot more than him, and even if they just met, they had clicked instantly. That meant something. He felt obligated to help him even if just a little bit. He has a feeling that recalling his high school adventures has forced him to realize how long he's been sick. Daichi could only assume he was right and try to be as comforting as he could be. It was hard though, hard to watch him try to collect himself after realizing how long he'd been in pain. Probably back and forth to this same hospital constantly.<br/>
"Ugh, I'm sorry for dragging you here just to watch me cry about my problems, I just miss my normal life. Do you think you could take me home? I'm not supposed to be out in the rain or anything like that because getting sick might not go well for me. Besides, I'm anemic…" Sugawara explains, clearly trying to get closer while distancing himself at the same time. Without hesitation, Daichi nods, grabbing his umbrella and standing, holding out his hand. Koushi takes his hand and stands, a flash of pain in his eyes as he walks beside him out of the door and back into the gloomy rain. They walk in silence and it's perfectly fine because it's more comfortable than awkward. Koushi slows down after 15 minutes, his breathing suddenly changing.<br/>
"Tired?" He questions. He doesn't get a reply, just a quick nod. Trying to think fast without thinking, Sawamura offers "Why don't you just stay the night at my place? You won't have to walk in the rain on your own that way. How does that sound?"<br/>
"Oh no, I couldn't -"<br/>
"Please. Maybe you're not feeling it, but you look like absolute shit." Suga laughs at his playfully harsh comment but just nods.<br/>
"Okay yeah yeah, I get it. I'll go, okay? Geez, we only just met today and you're already being so pushy. You almost sound like you want something from me, hm?"<br/>
"What? No! No, I don't- I'm not like that!" Daichi waves his hands in front of his face, feeling heat creep up his face, and the adorable laugh that leaves Koushi's mouth just makes him blush more. "I know I know," he responds "I'm just teasing." Sugawara grins at him with a light pink hue even dusting his cheeks. A cup of coffee and tea later and they're back on their way. Daichi still watches Koushi shiver, but the little smile on his face makes him realize that he's happy to be with him. Daichi was sure that there must be a reason why they met. Of course, there was a possibility that it was just chance, but what were the odds of fate that would let him just meet another Volleyball player his age right next to him at a Hospital? As he mulls over his questions, he notices from the corner of his eye, Sugawara messing with a spot on his chest, right between his neck and shoulder.<br/>
"What is that?" Daichi asked, softening his voice with the feeling that it was a sensitive topic. Proving his suspicion correct, Sugawara shakes his head and shrugs. "Just a...hospital thing," he says. It sounded more like a half-truth than a lie, so he just left it at that. He returns his gaze upwards, trying to figure out what kind of medical thing would be in such an odd place. And to add to that, why he's so self-conscious about it. His memory blurs the rest of the time out. It's all like muddled colors, although he remembers Sugawara leaning on him for a few minutes, clearly not feeling well. Taking notice, he quickly entered his cozy apartment.<br/>
"You should lay down on the couch before you fall over, Sugawara" he tries to lighten the mood, but the male in question just isn't impressed, making a whimpering sound as he does down. "Suga," he says.<br/>
"What?"<br/>
"Just call me Suga, Sugawara is a bit of a mouthful sometimes…" he brushes a few strands of his hair back behind his ear, leaning on Daichi's shoulder as he sits beside him. With a calm smile, he grabs the blanket draped over the back of the couch and lays it on Koushi, causing him to smile faintly at their now shared warmth. Suga mumbles something about how warm he is and he just chuckles and says "Lucky you." In reality? More like lucky him. While Daichi had his friends, he wasn't around them very much and wasn't this connected with them. He was very connected with Suga, though, noticing the evening of his breath as he fell asleep on his shoulder. How lucky did he have to be to meet someone like him today?<br/>
He shifts a bit to find better comfort, but something catches his eye. Suga's shirt had slipped down his shoulder slightly with the weight of the blanket and now exposed what he could only see as white tape on his chest. Although curious, he knows it's not his place to be nosy while he was asked, that would be weird. So he leaves it as one of his millions of questions for the morning.<br/>
He finds himself now beginning to drift off into the world of sleep. Even in the world of sleep, there was still a little angel on his shoulder.</p><p>_____</p><p>His eyes flutter open in the absence of warmth. Quickly he discovers that Koushi has disappeared from his side, a cause for alarm. Daichi stood up, the blanket falling back onto the couch from his shoulder as he looked around, his steps rushed as he entered the hallway. He wasn't sure what he was expecting, but this wasn't it. You don't find unconscious people in the hallway of your apartment just any day. He crouches down and gently shakes his shoulder. "Hey...Hey."<br/>
Suga is awake it seems with glassy, unfocused eyes. He whimpers when he's picked up, naturally laying his head on Daichi's chest. He's way too quiet, his breathing heavy and shaky. He mumbles something but it's completely inaudible. His face and shoulder are bruised, making Daichi wince just looking at them. It was raining again, so there was no way he was taking him to the hospital on foot, so he had no choice but to call the ambulance. Suga is silent aside from his breathing. A breathy "Sorry.." Leaves his lips, but nothing else. Daichi shakes his head.<br/>
"It's not your fault I don't think. What happened, though?"<br/>
"I...I don't know…" it doesn't seem like he has the energy to talk very much. It was fine, though. He was okay, and that was fine. For some reason, he was more worried when the paramedics arrived. He was never a person who was made uneasy by hospitals before. He hated getting shots, but he never got sick or hurt often so he had no reason to ever be scared. He got into a nasty collision during a game once, but that still wasn't as bad as it could've been. He got a big bruise on his face and lost a tooth, but he didn't have to go to the hospital. He guessed he was lucky.<br/>
Everything feels like it goes by in slow motion, yet takes no time at all. It feels like he's waiting forever when red hair comes into view, bright enough to cause sensory deprivation. If the light hits it a certain way it might blind you. The guy the bright hair belongs to keeps trying to peek into Suga's room. That is until he turns around and notices Daichi's presence. He jumps with an inhuman shriek. "Yikes, what the heck?! When did you get there?!"<br/>
Daichi tilted his head with confusion. "I've uh- been sitting here for a couple of hours?" He answers. The guy was short, maybe 5'7. His eyes were a pretty brown color with fair skin. He was completely caught off guard by Daichi's presence. He points to the door of the room with a confused look and all he says is "Umm?" And Daichi just nodded awkwardly. The guy walks over to him and holds out his hand.<br/>
"Um- I'm Hinata. I'm one of his friends from high school. Who are you?"<br/>
"Daichi. We met yesterday."<br/>
Hinata gives him an incredulous look.<br/>
"We met downstairs waiting for our appointments and we just started talking! We were gonna hang out but he seemed like he wasn't feeling good so I let him stay over at my house and then this morning something happened!" Daichi tries to defend himself from the thoughts he could tell we're going through Hinata's head. "I don't even know what he has-!"<br/>
"You <em>don't</em>?" The sudden drop in the previously friendly male sounds dangerous. He swallows nervously, leaning back in his chair until the back of his head grazes the wall behind him. Hinata puffs out his cheeks, glaring at him and folding his arms. "Didn't you see it?" He asks.<br/>
"See what?"<br/>
Hinata taps a spot a bit below his collarbone. "The thing- right here?" He elaborates. After thinking about it for a moment, Daichi remembers the white tape he noticed when his shirt slipped down his shoulder. He nods again. "That's a port," Hinata explains. When the brunette tilts his head, he explains further "it's for giving blood, taking blood, giving fluids, etcetera. Erm, that's not the point. It's there cause he needs it for chemo."<br/>
Daichi swore his heart stopped beating to process the information. He stands up slowly, which makes him realize just how small Hinata is. "You mean like...getting treatment for Cancer?" He confirms, walking towards the door of the room and peeking inside. Suga had been asleep for at least two hours now and he was told not to bother him unless something was wrong or he woke up on his own. He ran his hand back through his hair with a heavy sigh. "Damn…" he swore softly.<br/>
It was disturbing seeing how peacefully he slept with his skin the same color as the sheets with the exception of the bruising on his exposed skin. Hinata stands beside him, lifting his gaze to meet his eyes again before looking away quickly. "I think...you're more special to him than the rest of us somehow…" he says.<br/>
"What do you mean by that?" Daichi raises an eyebrow with concern and confusion as well as curiosity. Hinata sighs, fidgeting with the hem of his shirt.<br/>
"What I mean is...my uh boyfriend Kageyama was supposed to pick up Suga after that appointment was over. He wasn't late or anything but on time. But Suga was with you instead. He probably forgot completely, but Kageyama wasn't happy about it. He wasted time and money on gas. But more than that he ended up being a bit upset, not knowing if he was okay or if something went wrong." The redhead's eyes stay focused down towards the floor as he speaks. "It's not your fault or anything, I'm just saying...if you understood the circumstances better, maybe you'd get it better…" venom rolled off of Hinata's tongue in his last few words of the sentence.<br/>
Noticing the slightest movement from the bed, Hinata enters the hospital room ahead of him, cringing at the bitter mix of smells."Hey, you awake?" His voice makes Suga blink a few times since he probably didn't expect him to be here. He sits up, rubbing his eyes with the back of his palm. "Yeah I'm up, what are you doing here, Shouyo?"<br/>
<em>Hinata Shouyo was his name, huh?</em> Seemed to suit him pretty well. The redhead sat down on the edge of the bed with a smile "Well I came to make sure you were okay because Kageyama said you left with someone else and the nurse said you had collapsed" he explained. "So...is it coming back?"<br/>
"Hinata-"<br/>
"I need to know! It would feel worse not knowing!" Hinata begged. Suga threaded his fingers into the younger male's hair, pulling him down against his chest as he started to show signs of crying.<br/>
"I don't know yet, but...I think so. We had a good run though, didn't we? It'll go back to normal just like before, okay? Hey, I'd like to talk to Daichi for a minute if you don't mind. Why don't you calm yourself down a bit?" Suga requests, causing Hinata to look at the brunette. He looks down at the floor and heads off out of the room to sit in the hallway again. Daichi sits on the edge of the bed, now worried about both of them.<br/>
"I'm sorry you had to see all of this," Koushi apologizes softly, fiddling with the bracelet around his wrist. "I didn't mean for you to get caught up in this. I just wanted to have a good day for once. Can you forgive me for this?" He's terrified of this conversation. His hands are shaky and he won't make eye contact.<br/>
"I don't have to forgive you, you didn't do anything wrong. You can't control your illness-"<br/>
"I could've told you-"<br/>
"But you didn't and that's fine. You didn't want to scare away someone who started to care about you. <em>You</em> were scared. I would've been too." Daichi tried to reassure him. Suga chuckles and lightly slaps Daichi's hand. "I don't believe you. You don't seem like the type."<br/>
"The type to what?"<br/>
"To be scared."<br/>
"What's that supposed to mean?"<br/>
Suga sits up, the hospital gown falling off of his shoulder. He looks up at the bright fluorescent light above his head and then back to Daichi with a calm smile. "I mean you don't seem like the type to be scared of this sort of thing. You seem like the type of person I wish I was and I'd do much better if I was like you. You seem like you'd be super calm. Wouldn't panic. The initial shock is all it would be for you. Am I right?"<br/>
The male seems pretty confident in his guess. Daichi looks up as if to search his brain for the answer. "Uhm...well that's a good question, I don't know," he meets his eyes again. "It hasn't happened, so I don't know what I'd be like. However, I think I'd be just as scared of you if not <em>more</em> scared because I hate not being in control. I hate not being able to have a say in things. I'd go crazy," he shifts his gaze downward as Suga's pale hand grazes over his. His touch is cold but still feels like electricity going through his body.<br/>
"I guess you're right. So...you'll stick by me?" He asks.<br/>
"Of course I will. I'm not going to be one of the people who walk out of your life because you're sick. I'm gonna stick around and see you through to the end, Suga."<br/>
"The end…" Koushi exhales slowly and lays back down, looking up at the ceiling as he continues to speak and asks "What is the end for a twenty-year-old with Leukemia?"<br/>
Daichi hesitates to answer, knowing he has to choose his words very wisely or else it may cause a problem with either Suga or Hinata who was still in the hallway. "Well…" he starts, not continuing until Suga looks back over at him with his beautiful hazel-brown eyes. "The end is when you're no longer suffering from this. So I guess if you really wanted to put it that way, the end could be when you finally beat it or...it could be when you die, I guess. Let's aim for the first one, though. Okay?"<br/>
Suga chuckles softly, holding onto his hand with a honey-sweet smile and a honey-sweet voice that says "Okay."</p><p>-----</p><p>
  <em>*ping*</em><br/>
<em>[Suga | 11.23.XX | 11:37 PM]</em><br/>
<em>Are you awake?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>[You]</em><br/>
<em>I am, but why are you?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>[Suga]</em><br/>
<em>I can't sleep. My arm hurts</em>
</p><p>
  <em>[You]</em><br/>
<em>why don't they give you pain medication?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>[Suga]</em><br/>
<em>They can't give me anything stronger and IVs will bruise my arm. It just hurts, will you come to me?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>[You]</em><br/>
<em>Why don't you call someone closer? It's pouring freezing rain outside.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>[Suga]</em><br/>
<em>Please? You are the closest.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>[You]</em><br/>
<em>15 minutes.</em>
</p><p>Daichi didn't mind going over to the hospital often and Hinata didn't seem as wary of him anymore. He had finally met Kageyama who hadn't warmed up to him over the past two weeks and Hinata told him that it would definitely take longer than that. Despite knowing Suga for this long, he only just found out that he lived the closest to him. Although he didn't talk much while Daichi was there, Kageyama had mumbled something about some of their other friends avoiding the hospital. If he brought it up, though, it meant those friends were still in their lives.<br/>
It didn't matter that it was not even 30 minutes away from midnight, he was going to visit. It was definitely not allowed, but if Suga's usual nurse on this shift was there, hopefully, she would let him go in. He could hear the rain beating against the roof of his home even before he left. Going out in this type of weather is what he would actively avoid, but avoiding Suga wasn't really an option. <br/>
It doesn't take 15 minutes, which is probably because he's worried. He's always a mix of happy and worried when he gets a text from him. Mostly because it could be absolutely anything with him. He wasn't sure if he came in too late or at the perfect time because he caught a nurse talking to him. He can't see Suga from behind him at the doorway, but he could hear the silverette not just crying, but <em>sobbing</em> like he was having a hard time breathing. Quickly Daichi steps in and approaches to make his presence known, causing the nurse to quickly leave. Confused and concerned, Daichi sits on the bed and watches Koushi crawl over and lay his head in his lap. The crying doesn't cease which is a testament to just how much pain he's in.<br/>
"Hey…" he gently rubs comforting circles into the smaller male's back, which seems to work some, but it doesn't help the pain, unfortunately. Koushi looks up at him with narrowed hazel eyes, turned red and raw from rubbing tears away. "H-Hey…"<br/>
Daichi grins a little at his response, running his hand over his shoulder. Suga flinches and he pulls his hand away. "What happened there?"<br/>
"They sedated me…"<br/>
"What for?"<br/>
"I don't remember, I got angry about something...Or I was scared, but I don't remember, I just woke up and I was hurting so bad so I texted you and I just...panicked. Don't leave tonight, stay with me tonight…" Suga sits up, adjusting to sit in his lap, wrapping his arms around him and holding him tightly. He hides his face in the crook of Daichi's neck. Daichi doesn't mind, he never does. He just holds him in a loose grip. Suga's breathing is slow and shaky, his hand playing with the hair near the back of Daichi's neck. He doesn't know when, but at some point, his breathing quiets as Koushi slips into a peaceful sleep in his arms. His phone goes off. Daichi doesn't want to be nosey, it's not his business. But he glances over at the lit-up screen.</p><p>
  <em>[Tsukishima]</em><br/>
<em>I know you're awake. Go to bed, Senpai.</em><br/>
<em>I'll see you tomorrow.</em>
</p><p>Looked like he'd be meeting some other friends. Without thinking about it, he pecked a kiss on Suga's cheek, and to his surprise, the sick male woke up. He giggled softly and smiled as much as he could manage. He was weak. He looked weak. His pale cheeks were dusted with a slight pink but. "Hey, How long has it been since I met you?"<br/>
"About two weeks, why?"<br/>
"I feel...like I'm doing something wrong. Like I shouldn't be doing something. I shouldn't be feeling like I am…"<br/>
"What are you talking about, are you okay?"<br/>
Before the question is even answered, Suga's face has been stained by tears that streamed quickly down his chin. "No...No I feel-"<br/>
"Hey." Daichi gently grabs his face which makes him freeze. "What is it?"<br/>
"I have to go back on my treatments and I want you to be the one with me...I love all of my friends so much and I know they'll be so upset, but-"<br/>
"Don't...feel bad about what you want. You have the right to whatever you ask for," Daichi reassures him which brings a bigger smile to both of their faces. Koushi is beaming despite his sickly features.<br/>
"Then will you take me out tomorrow? Before I have to start my treatment again? Please?"<br/>
"Except that," Daichi murmurs, gently setting Suga beside him. Koushi groans "Why?"<br/>
"Because it's winter and you're anemic. You'll be freezing and you'll end up sick which you <em>can't handle</em>. You know that already. If you were able to, you wouldn't be staying here. Just- it's not a good idea. I'm sorry," he reaches for Suga's hand but he flinches away. "You can't be mad at me for this, I don't want you to get sick! One of your friends texted you, they want to see you tomorrow...er- Today, it's past midnight now, please just- listen to me. Okay?"<br/>
Although pouting like a 5-year-old, Suga nods slowly in reluctant agreement. "Fine.."<br/>
"Good," Daichi stands up and ruffles his hair. "I have to work today, anyway. Next year."<br/>
"Next year?"<br/>
"Yeah. Next year. I'll take you out when it snows next December."<br/>
"It's November right now," Suga responds with confusion on his face. Daichi chuckles softly. "Because it'll be close to the New Year. You know what that means? It means you'll have lived another year. Fought another long battle. It'll be like your reward. I promise, that's what we'll do," he holds out his hand with his pinkie extended. Although he hesitates, Suga does the same, linking their fingers together.<br/>
"You better keep it."<br/>
"I will."</p><p>-----</p><p>"TADASHII!"<br/>
Suga wines as Hinata shouts at the top of his lungs, clinging to the male in question. He's around 6' with a face full of freckles. He hugs the shorter male with a nervous but clearly happy smile. "Hey, Shouyo."<br/>
"You're way too damn loud," the tall blonde that accompanied him muttered, clearly annoyed. "If you think he's loud, you'd hate Nishinoya," Daichi chuckled softly. He recalled how energetic and rambunctious his younger friend had been the last time he saw him and Asahi despite being adults. He didn't understand how Asahi put up with him for so long. Suga would probably like Asahi, though. He was quiet and sweet. A big teddy bear that would keep you warm at night.<br/>
"I don't believe there's anyone worse than him," The blonde -who he quickly figured out was Tsukishima- said while doing his best to keep Hinata from hugging him. Daichi chuckled "Yeah, I wouldn't be so sure of that…" he sighed. The thought of his friends was so...distant yet brought him a nice warm feeling despite the cold outside.<br/>
"It's been a while. Where's Kageyama?" Tadashi asked, sitting on the edge of Suga's bed. Hinata frowns and answers "He didn't want to come, I'm sorry-"<br/>
"No, don't apologize. You couldn't force him. That's just how he is," Suga said softly, but everyone could tell that he was a bit disappointed for him not to have come. He looks down at his lap and sighs.<br/>
Sorrow.<br/>
That was the look in Koushi's eyes. He was used to people coming in and out of his life without a word, yet was still able to smile through the pain of the same betrayal over and over again. Daichi gently put his hand on his shoulder and he smiled at him. "I'm sure he has a good reason, he always does," Suga says softly. His faith in his friend was more than he thought he could ever manage to have for some of his own. To his surprise, Suga wraps his arms around his neck and hugs him. He shoves his face into the crook of Daichi's neck, and although surprised, he holds onto him. For the first time in a while now, Hinata looked annoyed. He leaves the room.<br/>
"Is...he okay?" Yamaguchi asks, probably referring to both Suga and Hinata. "The nurse said the anemia was affecting his mood. So- depression, mood swings…" he sighs and gently rubs comforting circles into Suga's back. He isn't crying, but he's quiet and cold although the latter isn't abnormal for him. Tsukishima answers for Hinata's status "He's been going through a rough time with that stupid King-"<br/>
"Tsukki-"<br/>
"He fell to an all-time low and something happened between them the other day, I don't have a damn clue what, but it's annoying."<br/>
"Annoying how?" Daichi asks, shifting his arms as Koushi settles properly in his lap. The blonde crosses his arms.<br/>
"It's annoying because I saw the damage it did! He didn't even notice that I saw, but I did and it pisses me off…"<br/>
Both Daichi and Tadashi look at Tsukishima with concern. He doesn't elaborate and they don't ask him to. The room fills with awkward silence. Hinata comes back in and sits in a chair in the room, but that still doesn't fill the quiet room. Daichi quietly runs his fingers through Suga's hair. He whimpers softly from his place in his arms. Now Tsukishima is pacing the room. He was annoyed and now Hinata was pissed off too. Damage? What could he possibly be talking about? The possibilities unnerved him.<br/>
"Um-" Tadashi tried to speak up nervously. "Come on, I want to talk, Hinata…" he says, quietly shuffling himself out of the room and into the hallway to attend to Hinata's unusual behaviour as he follows him back out. Daichi can hear their quiet conversation but isn't sure exactly what they're saying. He simply assumes that it's going relatively well considering the lack of yelling. Hinata is clearly a very cheerful person which makes it seem like he doesn't always handle sudden or intense changes that disrupt that cheerfulness he holds. Soon Tadashi returns to the room and the addition of Hinata's crying is enough to snap everyone out of their current emotional states. "Sorry, I'll be back," is all he says with zero explanation as he leaves again with his hand on Shouyo's back between his shoulders. Something happened. The lack of knowledge made Daichi's skin crawl. What happened? It was safe to assume that it had something to do with Kageyama, but it was difficult to tell since the two left in a hurry before any questions could be asked or explanation be given.<br/>
Tsukishima looks apprehensive, staring at the door still a minute after they leave. Then he looks at Daichi and Koushi looks between the two of them and sighs. "Tsukki...go."<br/>
"What?"<br/>
"Just go!"<br/>
To their surprise, Suga raises his voice, sounding full of more rage than he thought was even possible for him to express. Startled and confused, Tsukishima is quick to leave. Not just the room, but was probably not going to be back for a while. Daichi is left with the irritated patient in his arms and doesn't say anything until Suga decides to explain his own actions.<br/>
"If I make them leave, they can't hurt me by not being here. Right? It's that simple. Why wouldn't Kageyama want to come? Why wouldn't he want to see me?" Suga sits back without leaving where he sat in order to look him in the eyes. Daichi frowns.<br/>
"I think based on what was said, Kageyama is going through a depression and Hinata is struggling with him because of it. If 'damage' means what I think it means, let's just hope that he doesn't end up in the hospital too. That's the last thing you'd want, right? Your friends all seem to be trying their best to cope with all of this. Trust me, the longer it goes on the harder it gets," Daichi tries to explain.<br/>
"I'm the one who has to live not knowing if I'm going to live or die, so-"<br/>
"And they have to live not knowing if you're going to live or die either, don't you get it?" Daichi gently sets Suga down on the bed beside him. "They're just as scared of you dying as you are. They're scared of seeing it all happen. The longer you're sick the closer it feels to your death to them. Hinata said you were pretty connected with Kageyama when you played volleyball. He's trying to deal with his dying senpai. Doesn't that make sense? He's depressed and scared and might even be hurting himself to seem strong for you."<br/>
Suga looks down at his hands with a thoughtful look on his face. After a moment he slowly nods "Yeah...you're right about that I guess. I need to cut them some slack because they're here to support me with nothing as a reward except for fear and worry. I get it. I'm sorry, but I just...want it to be over. Daichi wraps his arms around Suga's shoulders.<br/>
"That's fine. It's okay to feel things. I'm here with you."</p><p>-----</p><p>People tend to bother you when you feel least like dealing with them. Not that he would ever complain outwardly about taking care of Suga and being there for him, sometimes he was a handful even if he was perfectly quiet. From vomiting and mood swings to depression, anxiety, and mania, there was no keeping up with him. For hours he'd throw up until he was dehydrated. He'd sleep while receiving fluids and would remain depressed for a while, then sit up for two nights and ramble without breathing more than he "had to." Then it was over. Four days and it was done. Suga was manic for the rest of the week and then Monday came and he crashed like someone coming off a high or a hangover.<br/>
He did nothing but lay in Daichi's arms. It was just them of course because Koushi’s friends were dealing with their own shit and hesitant to see him in his weak and unpredictable state. He speaks just like someone who was clueless and tired. Daichi let him lay on his chest while he ran his fingers through his hair.<br/>
"You shouldn't do that," Koushi murmured.<br/>
"Hm? Why not?" Daichi asks with the softest smile on his face.<br/>
"Because it'll make it go away the longer I have to be treated…"<br/>
The statement confuses him at first, but then it clicks when he remembers where his hand is. The treatment would cause him to lose his hair. It'd come back once the treatments were over. If he went into remission, that is. Daichi had every faith that he would keep fighting long enough to see their trip out into the snow next December. And hopefully until long after. Long enough that nobody has the chance to say that he was too young because by the time he goes he'll have lived a good life.<br/>
"Your heart's beating so fast," Suga comments, looking up to meet his eyes. Daichi chuckles. "Yeah, I know. I'm thinking about you. I'm thinking about what I'm afraid of with you, and I'm thinking about why I enjoy being with you despite all of this."<br/>
Koushi sits up and tilts his head slightly "What you're afraid of with me? What's that supposed to mean?" He asks, reaching up to play with Daichi's hair which was starting to grow out but he didn't really feel like getting it cut again.<br/>
"You know what I mean," he sits up a bit. "Nothing about it really bothers me, but you know that there's a lot of questions and scary things when it comes to you. A lot of uncertainty. Not knowing what's going to change and what will stay the same. It's always something different, good, and bad. It's a lot to think about, and it's scary. But it won't make me leave" he explains. Suga had probably heard words nearly identical to his plenty of times. The people who said those words before him had probably vanished when it got too difficult for them to handle. He never even bothered to ask about the whereabouts of his parents. The experience is heavily traumatic for everyone involved, yet it takes a lot of courage still to remember who's suffering the most. Two years ago, Koushi's whole future crumbled before he could even get close to it. A high school boy seemingly on the brink of death for so long that now he can legally drink.<br/>
"You're spacing out," Suga's voice snaps him out of his depressing trance. With them being so close, he can't help but look into his soft hazel-brown eyes. This guy has more trust in him than anyone probably ever did before. He wasn't sure what he'd do if he went away...it was a scary thought that he didn't want to think on too much.<br/>
"Do you have any idea how happy I am to have someone like you?"<br/>
"Like me? What's that supposed to mean?"<br/>
"I mean...you're great with my strange friends. They're a weird group but they're just all I have. You care about me for real, not just out of pity. You aren't mean or forceful about things that aren't completely in my control. I think you're the person I've been waiting on," as he finishes his sentence, he yawns.<br/>
"Been waiting on? Waiting on for...to do what?" Daichi asks, but Suga has laid his head back on his chest and fallen asleep within moments. He doesn't dare to bother him. Instead, he watches him sleep. He watches his back rise and fall with every breath he takes. He watches the sleeve of his sweater slip off of his pale shoulder even though it fit him just fine a couple of weeks ago. Every little detail is so noticeable on someone so fragile. Yet despite being so weak, Suga was equally as much the strongest person he's met.<br/>
He considers for a moment as he drifts into a sleep that maybe the love he felt for him was more than what he thought it was.</p><p>-----</p><p>Daichi wakes up to the absence of the body that had been lying on top of him. It's uncommon for Koushi to get up for no reason since his body temperature is low and Daichi was like a heater to him. The lightly ajar bathroom door answered any questions he had, though. The brunette stretches and slides off the bed, casually heading over to the bathroom and peeking in. It's hard to see in, so he knocks on the door frame. There's no verbal response, but he can hear him gagging. A bit concerned, he opens the door slowly, just enough to peek his head in.<br/>
As he suspected, the male in question was crouched by the toilet, currently in the process of puking his guts out. He doesn't even seem to notice Daichi's presence until he gently puts his hand on his shoulder and pulls his hair back as it hadn't been cut in a while probably. He lifts his head just enough to look up at him. He looks pale, skinny, and tired. Of course, all of these traits applied to him daily but it looked worse than usual.<br/>
Daichi kneels down and grazes his thumb over Suga's cheek, flashing him a small smile and receiving a weak one in return. It was concerning, but everything became concerning with him.<br/>
"Are you okay?"<br/>
"I'm hungry."<br/>
"Oh, I wonder why," Daichi lightly chuckles which at the least pulls a strained laugh from Suga. "They haven't brought in your breakfast yet, so we'll see how you do then, how about it?" He suggests. Suga shakes his head a little.<br/>
"Can you get me something instead? I don't mean to put you through the trouble, but...please?" A slightly stronger smile appears on Koushi’s lips that he can't say no to even if he tried. He lightly ruffled his hair as he stood with a nod of agreement and let him be. He grabbed up his jacket and slipped on his shoes to go about his way, but when he opens the door is greeted by a startled face.<br/>
"Kageyama?"<br/>
The younger male's nose and ears have turned pink from the cold as well as his cheeks which turn even redder upon seeing Daichi. Wordlessly he turns on his feels and starts to retreat down the hallway. Daichi is quick to grab his arm and is just thankful that the door doesn't slam behind him. "Hey-"<br/>
"Let go of me."<br/>
"It's early, what're you doing here? Alone, for that matter," Daichi asks. The raven-haired boy turns to him slowly. It makes him realize that his eyes were raw and reddened from tears, not just the cold of the winter weather. He sniffed, rubbing his nose with his sleeve. His eyes are trained downwards, away from Daichi entirely.<br/>
"I came because…I don't know if I'm going to come back after this," Kageyama explains, his voice the softest he's ever heard it.<br/>
"What do you mean?" Daichi asks, receiving no response. Naturally, his more protective instincts kick in. "Are you just going to vanish from his life just like so many other people have? That'd be a crappy thing to do."<br/>
"What? No! No that's not exactly what I was…thinking."<br/>
"Then what <em>were</em> you thinking, Kageyama? Just answer me, I don't have to say a thing unless your life is in danger," Daichi tries his best to press for an answer. Kageyama gives him a dry and humorless chuckle, shaking his head.<br/>
"Then I'm not talking…" Kageyama takes a step back and for a moment they just look at each other. Both of them know that the other is aware of their thoughts. Daichi's teammates used to call him dad as a joke and well now was the time to use that dad personality of his. He steps forward and puts his hands on Kageyama's shoulders which causes him to nervously tense up, clearly intimidated by the stern look he was giving him.<br/>
"Listen. I don't know what you're planning to do right now but just don't. For Christ's sake just don't do it. Suga's sick right now. Come back tonight. With Hinata. Am I clear?"<br/>
"What are you? My Dad?"<br/>
"Would that make you listen to me if I was?" Daichi asks. To his surprise, Kageyama's expression lightens up with a laugh. It makes a warm feeling rise in his chest that he got a reaction like that out of someone who was not only depressed but usually reserved and quiet.<br/>
"I'm going out to get Suga something to eat since I guess he doesn't want the hospital food when he's already sick enough. Wanna come with me? Maybe talk a bit more?" He suggests. Kageyama shrugs, shoving his hands in his pockets. "Sure. Can't promise I'll talk, but I'll take the food."<br/>
Daichi smiles fondly at him as they start to walk down the hall to leave.<br/>
"So, you play Volleyball?"<br/>
"Huh?" The question startles Kageyama but he nods "I'm a Setter. Sugawara was my Senpai in volleyball and in school so this is a bit rough. We're really different but he's always been sweet to me no matter how difficult I am with him. I don't really know what to do with him not around..." He explains. "It's not even about volleyball, it's just his presence. I hate being all sentimental and sappy, but just knowing he was there has always been helpful to me, but...I have a bad feeling about the next year to come."<br/>
"And why's that?" Daichi asks with a slight tilt of his head. Kageyama meets his eyes before looking away again. "Because everything changed when you came out of nowhere. Like a fucking miracle or something. All of a sudden Sugawara isn't sitting around sad all day, suddenly Hinata is excited to visit, and best of all, four-eyes and Yamaguchi come up out of the blue. I go to school with them every day and play on a team with them every day and they avoid visiting. But somehow when you start coming around, they magically change their minds. What are you, magical?" He scoffs at the end.<br/>
Daichi has to stop and think about it for a moment. He wasn't wrong. He never thought of it like that before, though. As a result, he shrugs. "I guess I might be. If I am then I hope that it's a good thing," is his final answer.<br/>
They make their way out into the open, now faced with the streets of Japan and the bit of grass that was outside of the hospital. The flowers hung low as the cold weather killed them and the now drizzling rain beat them to death with heavy drops. <em>Geez, when did my thoughts get so morbid?</em> He shakes his head to clear the disturbing observation from his head. Beside him, Kageyama takes a deep breath and stares at the cloudy gray sky. "It smells nice out here…" he comments, quietly and thoughtfully, probably not intended for him to hear.<br/>
meanwhile, Daichi can't help but think about what Suga had said to him the previous night.<br/>
<em>"I think you're the person I've been waiting on,"</em><br/>
<em>"Been waiting on? Waiting on for...to do what?"</em><br/>
It stressed his mind more than he would've hoped. What was it that could make him the person he's been "waiting on"? And regardless...what was he waiting on someone for? To do...what? The nice smell Kageyama had pointed out was making his head hurt. He hated the rain.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Raging storms</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>"Hey, you feeling alright?" He asks. Suga shakes his head showing him his arm which had adopted a concerning reddish-purple splotch. A bruise. He's about to ask where it came from, but pauses in doing so.<br/>Impossible.<br/>That's what he wanted to call it. But it wasn't. And he knew that. Nothing was impossible when your life wasn't guaranteed from day to day. Asahi and Noya look the most confused, unaware of what exactly was going on. He takes a deep breath. "Do you want me to-"<br/>"No."<br/>"But-"<br/>"Daichi. Please."<br/>He shuts his mouth, seeing as Suga was upset. They could talk about it later. Right now they were spending time with their friends and ruining the mood wouldn't be much fun.<br/>Except this was Suga's life, not a mood.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>The writer's block was tremendous at first but I finished it quickly, considering part 1 took a month for no reason. <br/>Anyway, part 3 will be the last. It'll be heavy. Hope you're ready.<br/>I love reading comments, they make me really happy, and would appreciate shares as well.<br/>Come yell at me on Twitter @Yakus_heart about anything you want. Fan stuff, vent at me for the amount of angst I throw out every two weeks, maybe just talk about anime idfk but whatever.<br/>Good luck.<br/>Sorry in advance.<br/>~Author-san</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Ahhh, I'm sorry…"<br/>"It's fine, I promise! My stuff Isn't damaged or anything" Daichi laughs nervously from the bathroom. He got caught in heavy rain without an umbrella on his way to drop some stuff off to Suga. It wasn't supposed to rain today, and rainy days were bad for Suga, too.<br/>"Alright, so how was your day?" Daichi asks, stepping out of the bathroom and leaving his clothes in there to dry. Koushi shrugged, making a <em>meh</em> gesture with his hand. "Boring as always. I wish you didn't have to go to your classes…" he mumbles, puffing out his cheeks slightly like a child.<br/>Daichi simply chuckles at his antics and shakes his head "I do too, they're hard and boring, but school is school. What were you going to do after high school?" He asks, shuffling up on the bed and allowing Suga to warm up against his chest. He hums and closes his eyes.<br/>"I wanted to teach little kids...I had everything set, I was even doing my best to get my work done from home. But when the discussion came around about my illness, I lost my chance." Koushi sighs, tracing up and down Daichi's chest. He gently grabs his cold hand.<br/>"It's not like you're getting old or anything. You're still young. Once you kick cancer's ass, you can be the best teacher in the prefecture," Daichi tries to reassure him with a lighthearted statement, which only causes Suga to cry. He cried a lot recently. Daichi wondered if it was his fault, but he was just told that he was very sensitive right now. Once he was off treatment and in remission again, he should be clearing of the mood swings and stuff. As he thinks about it, Daichi reaches up to touch the soft IV tube that ran into the port on Suga's chest. He couldn't wait for remission. Once Suga recovered his immune system, they could start going out places. He would be on antidepressants, though. He wasn't happy about that, but whatever for Koushi to be happy.<br/>"I'm gonna be sick…" the smaller guy complains quietly as if synched with his thoughts. Daichi quickly gets up and grabs the trash can, strategically sliding it under the bed so that it is now on Suga's side of the small bed. It was fit for one, but both of them could lay comfortably. Koushi had turned away from him and now leaned slightly over the side of the bed, coughing and throwing up. Daichi cringed, a bit squeamish about this stuff, but he had to be here to keep him comfortable and content.<br/>He really had to wonder what he'd gotten himself into. It was January. Lots of watching Suga suffer. The treatment was working, thankfully, but the pain and embarrassment he went through while doing the treatment was clearly scary even just watching from the outside and helping the best he could. He runs his fingers through the back of Suga's hair, tensing when he pulls his hand away.<br/>Koushi lifts a hand to feel at the back of his head where Daichi's hand had been. When he removes his hand, the same results are shown. His hand started to tremble with anger and despair, the strands of hair falling from his palm as he clenched it into a fist to accompany his wailing. Daichi pulled him to his chest quickly to try quieting him down.<br/><em>"You shouldn't do that,"</em><br/><em>"Hm? Why not?"</em><br/><em>"Because it'll make it go away the longer I have to be treated…"</em><br/>He sighs, not sure what else to do. He'd have to warn the others about this so that they aren't surprised or startled when they see this...side effect. Daichi didn't have much hair, but the thought of losing all that he did have was depressing and scary on its own. The circumstances made it feel like a looming threat. Of course, he was in no danger of this but imagining what it would be like made him nervous about Suga's reaction when it's all gone.<br/>What could he say to him? What exactly was there that could make this any better? The uncertainty was overwhelming. Daichi liked being in control. Feeling like he had no control over things was anxiety-inducing. He knew he had no control here. He knew that before and it hadn't bothered him but why would it only start bothering him once he was in too deep to get himself out of this? He had no intention of leaving but he couldn't at this point.<br/>"Daichi,"<br/>"What's up?"<br/>"I love you…"<br/>"I know…" he tightens his grip on him more, kissing the top of his head. "I'm glad."<br/>"What?" Suga scoffs, "That's not what you're supposed to say, you're supposed to say 'I love you too' or something like that, jeez!" He teases light-heartedly. Daichi chuckles "But you already know that!" He responds.<br/>Daichi wasn't the biggest fan of certain labels, but he had a feeling he would like this one. Boyfriend was a label he could get used to.<br/>"I do, I do, but still! I wanna hear it, I like hearing it, please?" The smaller boy practically begs. Daichi just grins at him, cupping his cheek with one hand and grazing his thumb over his cheek as he leans down and presses a soft kiss to his lips. Koushi's skin is always cold, rarely warm. Daichi generates enough heat for both of them, but it feels like he gets warmer when he sees Suga's smile. It was almost like that smile alone was the love of his life.<br/>"Daichi," Suga says again.<br/>"Yeah?"<br/>"Aren't you scared?"<br/>"That depends, of what?"<br/>"Of being in love with someone who might die…" Koushi explains softly, averting his eyes. This instantly changes Daichi's expression, making him furrow his brows and frown.<br/>"You know, a few weeks ago, you told me that I didn't seem like the type to be scared. You're not completely wrong, I'm usually good at not being scared. I guess I am scared, but not how you think I am," He sits up, still looking down at him even though their eyes don't meet. "I'm scared of losing you, of course. That's not it, though. I don't want to see you in pain or suffer. I'm afraid that beating this will cost you something aside from your life," Daichi explains. "It's scary to think that surviving could still have negative effects. I'm hoping though...Just hope won't make anything great happen, but I'll hope anyway." He flashes Suga a small smile.<br/>Although depressed and sick, he gets a smile back.<br/>-----</p><p>*ping*</p><p>
  <em>[Suga | 01.22.XX | 12:05 AM]</em>
  <br/>
  <em>Good morning.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>[You]</em>
  <br/>
  <em>Why do you text me in the middle of the night?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>[Suga]</em>
  <br/>
  <em>I don't know, but it's special this time.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>[You]</em>
  <br/>
  <em>Go back to bed</em>
</p><p>
  <em>[Suga]</em>
  <br/>
  <em>I can't</em>
</p><p>
  <em>[You]</em>
  <br/>
  <em>Why?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>[</em>
  <em>Suga</em>
  <em>]</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I</em>
  <em>t's special</em>
</p><p>Daichi stares at his screen in confusion. It's special? What was that supposed to mean? By the time this thought crosses his mind, something hits the window, making him jump. For a moment he sits and wonders if he's suddenly in a horror movie scenario before pushing the curtains aside to check what had hit the window.<br/>Low and behold, he's face to face with his boyfriend whose skin was probably closer to the color of the snow on the ground. It was raining lightly, a large hood shielding Suga's face from the weather. He had the biggest smile on his face, although Daichi just stared at him in shock through the glass. How in the hell did he manage to get up here? He pushes the window up ro open it, still watching with surprise as Suga tumbled in and even laughed when he landed clumsily on the floor.<br/>"How did you even get here?!" Daichi snaps, simultaneously slamming the window shut. Suga calmly sits on his bed, shivering after removing his wet coat and tossing it over the desk chair. "I took a train and walked. And climbed a bit to get up here."<br/>The worry in Daichi rises as he sits beside him, turning the lamp on beside his bed and pressing the back of his hand to his cheek. Wait.<br/>"You're kidding me."<br/>"I'm not."<br/>Daichi now holds his face with both hands, marveling over the slight warmth beneath his hands, still chilled by the January weather. "What, I haven't seen you since New Year's and you come back like this?" He can't help the grin that slips onto his face.<br/>"Don't get too excited. It's not complete remission. But I'm fine right now. And since I'm fine right now, I want to do things that everyone else does. I can't do those things without everyone else, though, so…you'll do everything with me, right? By the end of this year, by the time it snows for the first time in December I want to do fun things before then! So please?"<br/>"Why before then?"<br/>"Because you made a promise to me for whatever day it is, so you can't back out now! And by that day it'll be just like you said it'll be almost another year that I've fought this shit! That's why, so- so- please?" Suga's eyes are round and glazed with tears as he begs for him to agree. Daichi, taken aback and almost speechless, just stares at him for a moment before softening his expressions.<br/>"Whatever you need from me, I'll try to give you. But why is tonight special? Why did you come all the way here to tell me this?"<br/>"Because the first thing I want this year is something from you."<br/>"And what would that be?"<br/>Daichi doesn't get a verbal answer, just a cheeky grin.</p><p>-----</p><p>Suga wakes up to his back hitting the floor. He winces, his eyes fluttering over as he takes in his surroundings. For a moment he wants to panic, but quickly takes note of his jacket on the chair and sits up, pulling himself to his feet. He runs his hand through his hair, taking a deep breath and wondering where all his memories went. He didn't drink and he most definitely wasn't high, so why couldn't he remember? He sighs, glancing around the floor before picking up the shirt he recognized as his own. Actually….no, this wasn't his shirt, it was Daichi's, but he'd given it to him because he mentioned how he liked the way he smelled compared to the hospital room.<br/>Then something clicks. He turns around to see the male in question still out cold. He couldn't remember why they were shirtless, though…Koushi shakes the thought out of his head, providing to head downstairs, hearing a noise in the kitchen. Curious but not very concerned, he peeks his head in. He stares at the other person and he blinks at him for a good 20 seconds before the confusion registered on his face. The guy had black hair parted to the right and tired-looking eyes. "Um…"<br/>Suga approaches slowly, pausing when he was a few feet away. "Um, hi," he waves a little, giving him an awkward grin.<br/>"Uh hi, I'm Ennoshita. When did you get here?"<br/>"Uh, I'm Sugawara, I got here around midnight I guess," he shrugs nervously. This was by far one of the most awkward conversations he's ever had. The first thing he ends up doing is running into his roommate? Of course, that would happen. To his surprise, Ennoshita chuckles and takes a sip of his coffee.<br/>"It's nice to finally meet you. I keep wondering who could be so amazing that he dedicates his free time to be at the hospital. Now I finally see who he talks about so much about." He smiles a little, gesturing to a stool in front of the island which Suga sits at as they continue to talk.<br/>"So, mind telling me why you're in the hospital all the time?"<br/>"Oh uh-" Suga laughs nervously "Leukemia. The treatment is going well and I'm in a partial remission. As soon as I was cleared to go outside of the hospital I came here" he explains.<br/>Ennoshita smiles at him fondly "That's pretty exciting, isn't it?"<br/>"Hehe, yeah, It is…" koushi pushes his bangs back away from his eyes, a nervous blush appearing on his cheeks that had returned to a natural milky-pink tone. "Uh so, you're in college, too, right? What do you study?"<br/>"I'm a pre-med student. I haven't fully decided where I'm going with it, but I'll figure it out soon enough," Ennoshita answers, turning his back to him in order to attend to food on the stove. "I guess you're free from the hospital for a bit, right? What do you plan on doing?" He asks.<br/>"A lot, really. There are a bunch of things I want to do before December and if I can, I want to do all of them. I got the first thing on my list dealt with, so I'll be working on the second!" Suga explains, finding energy he hadn't had in a long time.<br/>"What was the first thing?" The dark-haired male asks. When he doesn't get an answer he turns around and studies the redness of Suga's surprised face and laughs. "I'm teasing you," he says, giving him a little wink.<br/>Koushi just hides his face in his hands, only looking up when he feels a hand on his shoulder. It's Daichi this time which makes his heart flutter, but the magic dies when he puts down a bottle of pills on the counter in front of him. Suga blinks up at him and he even notices Ennoshita look back at them with concern after hearing how aggressively Daichi put the bottle down. "H-Huh?" <br/>Daichi moves to the side a bit, putting one hand on his hip and leaning against the island with the other. "They were in your post pocket, you have to take them, right? What are they for?" He was asking more questions than Suga wanted to answer, frowning at him before pausing to actually think. "Umm….Anemia, bring back my immune system, weight, nausea, depression, and anxiety," he answers.<br/>Daichi gapes at him, exchanging glances with Ennoshita before focusing on him again. "Sometimes I really don't know if I'm more amazed or concerned by you, Suga. Do you take everything like you're supposed to?"<br/>"Pfft, no."<br/>"Suga!"<br/>"Sorry!" Koushi practically squeaked. He pouts slightly, hazel eyes gazing up at Daichi who returns his nervous look with a stern glare. Suga sighs "Look, it's a lot to keep up with, it's hard to remember, and taking all of them just makes me feel bad, I don't even care if it makes me better, I hate it," He gets to his feet, beginning to pace around the kitchen. "I just want to stop taking all of it and just like- be fine!" He seems to struggle with his choice of words in the argument but has clearly become irritated.<br/>"But you should know better than I do that it doesn't work like that! You can't take it and then expect it to get better if you just stop because you don't want to! That kind of thinking is just pure stupid!" Daichi snapped. Suga scoffs "So I'm stupid now?"<br/>"You know that's not what I-"<br/>"Both of you, shut up," Ennoshita hisses flatly, promptly causing both males to hush and look over at him again as he had just been watching them go back and forth. He takes the medicine Daichi brought in and seems to inspect it almost. Then he sighs "Your side effects are a bit rough, but you'll benefit from it. And Daichi, Suga is the patient here. You don't need to talk to him like that, he's going through enough. You both need to just relax because your nerves must be frayed, still in shock from learning that Suga's getting better, but you both know that this doesn't mean things are going to be normal. There's still a lot of shit you've gotta go through to get rid of it for good and <em>actually</em> get better so don't jinx it." His eyes were narrowed and serious, making both Suga and Daichi tense up.<br/>He sighs, half-heartedly putting plates of breakfast in front of them and leaving the room. The couple watches him go, apparently irritated by their brief little argument. Suga turns his head back to Daichi without meeting his eyes. He didn't know what to say and honestly didn't want to say anything. But he does. He just says "I...I really don't know what you want from me."<br/>"Huh? Hey, what do you mean?" Sawamura gently places his hand on Koushi's cheek, grazing his thumb over his cheek.<br/>Suga gently places his hand on top of his, a slight frown on his face. "I mean...I don't know what you're looking for. You fell in love with a sick guy who isn't guaranteed to live from day to day. You treat me differently each day. Sometimes you seem to love me to death, others you seem like you're annoyed with me. And I just...I don't know what you're expecting or what standard you're holding me too, already knowing that I can't meet it. It doesn't matter how hard I try, I can't be what a normal guy would be. And you know that is trying my hardest and you know that, but that doesn't change the fact that you act like you forget that this is way more complicated than what you see…"<br/>His throat feels like it's beginning to close up as his voice softens to keep his tears at bay. "You want me to be something I'm not and can never be, so I can't ever understand what you want me to do!" He cries. He wonders if Ennoshita was still listening to them shout at each other. It wasn't like either of them was angry anymore, but emotions were on the brink of just breaking through the walls they put up to avoid the possibility of hurting one another.<br/>"Suga, I…I don't even know what to say, I'm sorry. I guess it's just taking some getting used to still. That first night was pretty scary, you know? You were going through a relapse and did something you shouldn't have because of me. If you'd just waited for Kageyama, that wouldn't have happened, I know it wouldn't. It's hard to think about, and adjusting to the idea that you're always going to be on the brink of death for only God knows how long...is hard. I don't want you to feel like I'm running you in circles to be perfect for me because that's not what I want. I like how you are. How kind you are, how caring, how much you love your friends. All of that. It's not about what I expect of you, it's just that...I've seen different sides of you and I like the side of you that I first met. And that's what I want to see more of."<br/>Sugawara sighs, gently pulling Daichi's hand away from his face. "I get it. I understand. I'm just...afraid of losing you. I'm afraid of losing everyone. I shouldn't doubt you.m.I trust you. I promise."</p><p>-----<br/>"What the hell? Why is it so dark? I hate the dark, it's too dark!" Hinata whines. Tsukishima scoffs, and Daichi can practically hear him rolling his eyes. "It's not that dark, there's a blindfold over your eyes, dumbass," he hissed. Hinata whines, pouting like a 5-year-old.<br/>"Can I open my eyes now? It's hot under this blindfold!" Suga complains, although he's smiling, unlike Hinata.<br/>"Okay okay, fine," Daichi chuckles. "3...2...1!" He pulls back the cloth over Suga's eyes, allowing him to see and Tsukishima does the same to Hinata.<br/>"Surprise."<br/>"Surprise!"<br/>"Woah, holy shit!"<br/>"Daichi, oh my God."<br/>Suga turns quickly to look Daichi in the eyes, "You can't be serious!"<br/>"I'm serious."<br/>Koushi hurries forward with Hinata right behind him, starting up at the banner stretched across two trees.<br/><em>Happy Birthday Shouyo + Suga</em><br/>Hinata looked around at everyone, as Ennoshita had now joined their little group and hung out with them a bit. He frowns.<br/>"Don't think about it, Hinata," Suga says softly. "Let's enjoy the fun, okay? There's cake, you love sweets!" Suga encourages, gently putting his hand on the shorter male's back. "Enjoy it for me, please? It's a party for both of us but it's really <em>your</em> birthday! Come on, I haven't had something this sweet in so long!" He has a bright grin on his face, snatching up a knife and a plate.<br/>"Relax," Daichi promptly takes the knife from him, playfully nudging his shoulder. "It's not going to disappear if you don't eat it right away. You're not starving," he jokes softly. Koushi laughs softly, his cheeks as pink as the cherry blossoms that fell around their space in a rather romantic fashion. He takes a more careful approach to cut the cake, half vanilla, half chocolate. Suga preferred vanilla while Hinata liked chocolate. Even though Suga told him not to think about it, Hinata looked distant and out of it.<br/>"What happened?" Ennoshita asks, coming up behind the two of them. Daichi sighs "You still haven't met him, right...Hinata's boyfriend Kageyama is...struggling. I don't think I have the right to say much more. Nobody but Hinata has seen him for months now. I don't know what's going on, but Hinata wasn't like this before. You'd be impressed by his energy if you got a chance to see how he is when he's in a good mood," Daichi explains.<br/>Ennoshita flashes a sympathetic smile at the bit in question as he approaches them to grab cake. Daichi hands him a paper plate with chocolate cake on it and he murmurs a thank you before backing off again. They were in a small group, so the fact that the friendliest and most social out of all of them was avoiding saying more than he had to, it made the atmosphere way too sad.<br/>Yamaguchi shuffles on his feet nervously. He doesn't seem to know quite what to ro. He grabs a piece of cake and sits with Hinata who mumbles to him quietly. Everyone else could see his social battery draining faster than the conversation even went. Sugawara looks lost in thought, staring up at the cherry blossom trees as the petals flutter around them.<br/>"What's on your mind?" Tsukishima asks. Koushi glances at him then back at the trees, his gentle smile growing a bit as he sighs, closing his eyes to take in the smell of summer.<br/>"June already...damn…it feels like just yesterday it was your birthday, Dai," Suga grins at him, making him blush.<br/>"He's right though," Tsukishima jumps in. "I guess the lack of incidents makes it feel like it goes by faster. I'm not sure, but whatever it is, I'll take the peace," he concludes. Everyone seems to agree. Time must fly when you're not fearing for your life or somebody else's every day.<br/>Daichi leans over and places a kiss on Suga's cheek, making a wide grin split his face even further. Seeing him happy was more than he could possibly ask for.<br/>Koushi began to shovel cake into his mouth at an impressive speed. Daichi could only hope that he didn't get sick or choke because of it. "Hey, slow down!" He said playfully, and Suga pauses. For a moment there's a tension in the air that simply accompanies the ringing of Hinata's phone. It's easy for everyone else to return to a normal conversation after Shouyo leaves the table except for Yamaguchi who follows him. Daichi tries to keep up with Suga and -mostly- Ennoshita's talking, although their conversation was all over the place.<br/>Hinata returns a few moments later with a solemn look on his face, but soon jumps back into the conversation with a lack of enthusiasm but the fact that he was socializing was good. Suga leans on Daichi's shoulder, and at some point, he notices that the lively color was draining from his face.<br/>"Are you okay?" He whispers softly. Suga just shakes his head. Daichi feels like his heart skips a beat. It was only June and the flash of fear that Koushi notices in his friends' eyes make tears begin to flood his hazel eyes.<br/>"Hey, it's fine, you'll be fine, it's not going to be that this time. Trust me, okay?" Daichi whispers softly to him. He doesn't get a verbal response, just a tight hug as his boyfriend clings to him as if for dear life. This was what reality was like. The constant test. Every little hiccup and slightly concerning issue was enough to invite pure terror into their hearts.<br/>"Uh-" Tsukishima interrupts the dark moment with an awkward call to attention of himself. "Kiyoko's wedding is in September, remember? She'd be sad if you missed it," he says. Ennoshita chokes on water, going into a coughing fit as he puts his glass down, managing to get out of his mouth "Tanaka's Wedding is in September," before continuing to cough.<br/>Everyone just looks at him and then Daichi. All Daichi can do is laugh and say "I guess the universe treats us to an adventure once again!"</p><p>"I told you not to eat that cake like that."<br/>"Shut up!" Suga snapped. He'd been gagging and vomiting for the whole half an hour since they got back to the hospital. Daichi wasn't particularly worried, but then again everything was concerning with Suga. Daichi kneels beside him, running his fingers through his hair, making him flinch at first.<br/>"Suga, you're okay," he says softly, noticing the tears streaming down his face. Koushi shakes his head "It's gonna come back-"<br/>"Suga. Calm down, you're gonna get yourself worked up," he gently pulls the smaller male to his chest, noting how distant he looked. "Calm down…"<br/>They sit in silence for a while, Daichi leaning his back against the wall and holding Suga against him. He shushes him softly until he quiets down. Slowly he stands, holding him in his arms still, taking him over to the bed and gently setting him down. Suga didn't like being in the hospital instead of Daichi's house, but the doctors preferred to keep an eye on him especially when he wasn't feeling well. He had a feeling, however, that this was temporary. Probably the medication or depression or stress.<br/>"Um-"<br/>They both look up quickly to see Hinata standing at the door, his expression forlorn and eyes reddened and bloodshot from crying. Daichi stands slowly, approaching with his hand out to touch him but he flinches away. He takes a step back to let Shouyo come in, and he flops down in a chair and continues to cry.<br/>"What happened?" Daichi asked, thinking back on the call Hinata received in the afternoon. The redhead doesn't answer at first but meets his eyes. Haunted eyes. "Kageyama…" he mumbles, his voice barely above a fragile whisper. Daichi's heart begins to race and he glances at Suga who looks tense but says nothing. Hinata continues "I-I didn't plan on coming but I...I had to, so I figured to come up while he was asleep…"<br/>Kageyama was in the hospital. Daichi drew in a slow breath, repeating the question that Hinata clearly dreaded answering. "What happened?"<br/>"An infection. In some injuries on his arm," Hinata explains vaguely. Daichi's expression twists with confusion before he hears Suga softly call his name and he turns to look at him. The look on his face told him all he needed to know, but in case he didn't get it, Suga ran his thumb below the base of his palm. Daichi sighs again.<br/>"Oh jeez…" is all that he can manage to say. Hinata hides his face in his hands, mumbling something that he doesn't ask him to repeat. This suddenly felt like it was going to be a long 6 months.</p><p>-----</p><p>When more people came into the picture, everything became more difficult. Yachi was nice. A short young woman who recently graduated high school with Hinata and the other boys from their third year. She was shy upon meeting Daichi, with Suga making a calm joke about how intimidating he looked.<br/>When Suga and the third-years -graduates as of March- met Asahi and Noya, it felt like he'd created some kind of monster. Noya and Hinata clicked almost instantly, which brought Hinata up from the darkness he'd been sitting in. Seeing him smile was something that had become rare over the past couple of months, and having someone that could help him out for sure was reassuring.<br/>On the other hand, Suga fawned over Asahi like a child. It made him embarrassed, but Noya seemed proud to show him and his engagement ring off like some special trophy. Socially drained from the energy Hinata and Noya exhibit, Daichi steps out of Suga's room, and no sooner than the door shuts behind him is he faced with a familiar yet unfamiliar face.<br/><em>"I came because…I don't know if I'm going to come back after this,"</em><br/>"Wow, we keep meeting like this, Kageyama," he says calmly. The setter is tender, clearly not in the mood for that type of response. Daichi tries his best to stay focused but he can't help but glance down at the younger male's bandaged-up arm, which he quickly puts behind his back upon realizing that Daichi had noticed.<br/>"What did you come up here for? You don't look like you planned on having to talk to anyone," Daichi says. Kageyama doesn't reply at first, glancing over at the door, clenching his fists, and crinkles the paper in his uninjured hand. Daichi doesn't ask what it is.<br/>"I just wanted to talk to Shouyo. Something happened that shouldn't have, and-"<br/>"Daichi, Sugawara wanted you to- oh…" as if called upon by the higher beings, Hinata appears from the doorway. His eyes well up with tears and he darts right past him and practically launches into Kageyama's arms, holding onto him as if for dear life. The setter drops the paper in his hand in order to hold onto him. Daichi doesn't try to look too much into it, but he can see the word 'sorry' written on it. He doesn't know what the note was for, but he wouldn't ruin the peace to find out. He returns to the room which is a bit quieter without Hinata and Noya constantly talking to one another.<br/>"You needed me for something?" He asks, slightly disturbed by the fact that it gets even quieter now that he's here. He swallows nervously and walks over to Suga and runs his hand through his hair. "Hey, you feeling alright?" He asks. Suga shakes his head showing him his arm which had adopted a concerning reddish-purple splotch. A bruise. He's about to ask where it came from, but pauses in doing so. <br/><em>There's bad bruising on his right cheek that makes a bit of anxiety rise in his chest. "Are you okay?" He asks.</em><br/><em>"I'm in the hospital," Suga replies with a gentle smile and a gentle chuckle. "And so are you, are </em>you<em> okay?"</em><br/><em>Daichi feels the heat creep up his face, and watching the smaller man cover his mouth with his bruised hand when he laughs at his reaction makes his face even redder.</em><br/><em>His face and shoulder are bruised, making Daichi wince just looking at them.</em><br/><em>"Don't get too excited. It's not complete remission. But I'm fine right now."</em><br/>Impossible. That's what he wanted to call it. But it wasn't. And he knew that. Nothing was impossible when your life wasn't guaranteed from day to day. Asahi and Noya look the most confused, unaware of what exactly was going on. He takes a deep breath. "Do you want me to-"<br/>"No."<br/>"But-"<br/>"Daichi. Please."<br/>He shuts his mouth, seeing as Suga was upset. They could talk about it later. Right now they were spending time with their friends and ruining the mood wouldn't be much fun.<br/>Except this was Suga's life, not a mood.</p><p>-----</p><p>"Holy shit, I'm nervous!" Noya practically squeaks, making Suga laugh. "It feels like such a big deal, but I haven't been nervous like this since we played volleyball!"<br/>"It is a big deal, you're the best man. You know, I can't believe none of us had met all this time. Hinata's little sister is the flower girl. She was so little just a few years ago, and now she's thirteen...that's insane…" he exhales, leaning against the wall.<br/>"Really? Woah, that is kinda crazy. It feels like it was forever ago and yesterday all at the same time! It's pretty cool you could still come even though you're sick," Noya responds, smiling at him, but his eyes hold an unspoken sympathy.<br/>Suga manages a quiet chuckle "Yeah, around this time last year, I...I-I…"<br/>"Suga?"<br/>"Oh, sorry, it's nothing. Around this time last year, I hadn't met Daichi and was in a really low place. When Daichi came into the picture, it's like he brought everyone together. I can't believe I was lucky enough to meet someone like him…" Koushi explains. He hears a soft whistle and turns quickly to find Daichi casually leaning against the door frame. Suga's face turns bright red and both Noya and Daichi laugh.<br/>His boyfriend approaches, wrapping his arms around his waist. "I guess we're both pretty lucky, huh? I learned a lot from you," he says softly, bringing a smile to Suga's face.<br/>"Well, nice to see you lovebirds are doing great, but if you keep acting all cute like that, it's gonna take all the attention off of me!" A new voice comes from the doorway, just as quick as that.<br/>"Ryu!" Noya exclaims, practically tackling the groom in a hug. Daichi and Noya had gone to school and played volleyball with Tanaka from what he was told. In fact, Tanaka had admitted to him the previous day that it was probably his fault that Daichi hurt his knee in November. Neither of them could complain. Of course, they didn't tell him what that meant for them, though. <br/>"How're you feeling?"<br/>"Amazing! Not even nervous!" Tanaka responds, his grin perfectly matching the energy Nishinoya gave off on a daily basis. "I'm just excited to see her! She looks so beautiful every day, and I bet she'll look even more beautiful in her dress!" He's beaming like a child with every word that comes out of his mouth. The excitement is understandable.<br/>"Ugh…" Suga groans quietly, pinching the bridge of his nose. It attracted Daichi's attention, his arm lifting to wrap around his shoulders.<br/>"Something wrong?" He asks.<br/>"Vertigo...just a bit lightheaded for a moment there," Koushi answers softly. "I'm fine" he tries to reassure him, but it doesn't seem like Daichi fully believes him. He leans against Daichi's chest and takes a deep breath. "I'm fine…" he repeats.</p><p><em>If I ever were to lose you…</em><br/>Suga watches in awe as Natsu walks down the aisle slowly in a light blue Yukata, tossing cherry blossom petals into the aisle. She flashes a blessing grin at her older brother who smiles back from where he sat with Kageyama. She reached the end and shuffled off to the side, standing by Yachi who wore a similar outfit, although it was a bit more fancy-looking since she was the maid of honor.<br/><em>I'd surely lose myself…</em><br/>There's a long pause until everyone stands up. Suga's the most excited about this. He knows what the outfit looks like, but he hadn't seen it on the bride yet. The music changes and Suga shuffles forward to see.<br/><em>Everything I have found dear...</em><br/>Saeko, Tanaka's older sister, was giving Kiyoko away since she was an only child with her parents unavailable. Plus they had liked this idea more. His eyes shone as the two women appeared at the end of the aisle. Kiyoko's was the most extravagant. Beautiful but not too extra. Just enough to accentuate her beauty. A kimono that was pure white, embroidered and laced with silver and gold, with accents the color of the bridesmaid's yukatas. Collective gasps and awes rise from the guests as they pass by.<br/><em>I have not found by myself…</em><br/>Koushi's eyes follow the girls up, his eyes drifting off to where Daichi stood beside Noya, which was kind of funny, to say the least considering their height difference. Daichi winks at him, making a soft blush flood his pale cheeks.<br/><em>Try and sometimes you'll succeed…</em><br/>The lightheadedness returns with a vengeance, making his head spin. As everyone sits down, Asahi lightly tugs on his shirt, making him sit as well. He closes his eyes, doing his best to recover from feeling like the earth was moving beneath him as the actual ceremony started. He could hear but couldn't listen-everything sounded like he was underwater.<br/><em>To make this man of me…</em><br/>A hand gently lands on his shoulder and he hears a whisper, probably Asahi asking if he was okay. He wasn't. Just opening his eyes felt like he was being sent to the next dimension in the span of .5 seconds.<br/><em>All my stolen missing parts…</em><br/>He sits up, trying to return to normal, but his vision blacks out and returns, seemingly for just a second. Did he faint? He looks over at Asahi who's clearly concerned, but he's definitely seeing double, too. "I can't...stay here…" he mumbles, feeling the acidic burn of bile at the back of his throat.<br/><em>I've no need for anymore…</em><br/>It doesn't matter how many times he tries to stop it or swallow it back, it's pointless and only makes it worse, causing him to gag and vomit, coughing and making his face turn bright red with humiliation. He was glad his friends were sitting right in front of him because they turned around fast to assess the misfortune that had befallen him.<br/><em>I believe…</em><br/>After another brief blank in memory, Daichi picks him up, white literally. Finally, he can understand the words from the people around him. "Hey...Suga, can you hear me?"<br/>"Mmm.."<br/>"Damn…"<br/><em>and I believe 'cause I can see…</em><br/><em>Our future days…</em><br/>He's crying. He's crying because he's scared and humiliated and wants to go home now. What home? The last thing he sees before officially passing out is the panic on Daichi's face.<br/><em>Our future days…</em><br/><em>Days of you and me…</em></p><p>-----<br/>"Hey there, you awake?" Daichi calls softly, gently caressing Koushi's cheek. He watches as his eyes flutter open, dazed and confused. The silver-haired make sits up slowly, eyes still raw and reddened from crying. He blinks at him for a second. He then asks-<br/>"Where are we right now?"<br/>"Still at the venue, how are you feeling now?"<br/>"We are? Really? Geez, how long was I out?"<br/>"Hmm, about half an hour, but answer my question," Daichi says, shuffling up to sit beside him. "I want to make sure we don't have to go back to the hospital right away."<br/>Suga shakes his head, sighing. "I'm okay, I guess. I just…I know it's just going to get worse from here…it was way too good to be true…"<br/>"Do you want to leave? We can go."<br/>Suga shakes his head quickly "No, I'm okay! Did they already do dinner? I'm hungry."<br/>"I bet you are. Come on," Daichi gets to his feet, gently taking him by the hand and leading him out of the room. They soon arrived in the large hall where everyone was seated, talking amongst themselves. He pulls him over to the table with Asahi, Hinata, and Kageyama before leaving him to sit at the large table beside Noya.<br/>"Okay, why don't we have our make of honour speak first?" He calls to the other end of the table, startling Yachi, although Saeko laughs beside her and shouts "Yeah, give us some words!"<br/>Hitoka laughs nervously and grabs the microphone, walking a bit closer to the middle of the room. "Um- So I met Kiyoko almost three years ago now? I was sixteen, super shy, I was afraid of absolutely everyone, I was super intimidated even when I met Daichi. When I met Kiyoko I panicked because she was so pretty and nice and I felt like I wasn't worthy, but here we are," she giggled softly.<br/>"But uhm- when I found out she was getting married to someone so lively I thought she was kidding! But when I met him I realized that they were actually really perfect for each other," the blonde girl turns to the table. "I'm so happy!" She giggles, handing the microphone to Nishinoya who jumped up without hesitation.<br/>"Pfft, there's so much I could say that I probably shouldn't! So I'll go with this- we got on Daichi's nerves together and he still puts up with us. That in itself is impressive. The two of us were after Kiyoko for forever and finally, he got her. I'm proud of you, congrats," he winked playfully at Tanaka before sitting down again.<br/>Daichi stands up with his glass in hand "To the groom!"<br/>Saeko jumps up as well "To the bride!"<br/>"And-" Daichi starts but falters. "No...why…"<br/>"Daichi, his nose is bleeding!"</p><p>-----</p><p>"Happy Halloween! Boo!"<br/>"Ooh, scary," Koushi laughed softly. He watched Nishinoya playfully torment Hinata as the latter had dressed like a cat while Noya was supposedly a werewolf. Kageyama got tricked into being a vampire. They weren't going anywhere, but the hospital let the kids who were able to trick-or-treat in the hospital. Of course, the younger ones were excited to give out candy.<br/>Daichi gently ruffles Suga's hair. "Hey, what're you looking so down for? Come on, Enjoy this. Please? For me?" He says. Suga lightly pushed his hand away.<br/>"I'm not in the mood…"<br/>Daichi sighs, sitting beside him with a slightly stern look on his face. "Come on, what's up? You're not usually like this when everyone's here. You'll be back on the intense treatment soon, so you should enjoy being around everybody before your immune system goes to hell." He tries to bring up his mood but fails.<br/>"I just…" his hazel eyes shifted over to Kageyama who was being teasingly tormented by the short balls of energy. "I don't know. I just feel like...something's gonna go wrong…something always goes wrong."<br/>Daichi follows his line of sight and frowns. "Go wrong? With…why?"<br/>"You know what? Just drop it, Dai. I don't want to talk about it anymore," Suga sighs, shuffling back on his bed.<br/>"There's something else, I know there is, but right now there's candy and costumes and fun, so you know what we'll do? We'll have as much fun as we can," Daichi stands up, taking Suga by the hands and pulling gently, making him roll his eyes and swing his legs over the side.<br/>He gets to his feet, leaning into Daichi. "Mmm I love you…" he says softly, looking up at him with a grin. "But my legs feel numb," he treats it like a joke, but it isn't.<br/>Leukemia came back in his spinal cord.<br/>They got lucky it was caught early, otherwise, it could've done a lot more damage. Getting away with partial paralysis in his legs was like a miracle. The fact that he had feeling and control in his legs was impressive in itself. Daichi slips his arm beneath his legs and holds him up, bridal style. "You'll be fine, I'm plenty strong," he says. Suga laughs, leaning his head against his chest.<br/>"Yeah, yeah you are," he responds.<br/>"Okay, but candy," Daichi says, finally catching the attention of the other guys. Everyone smiles, even Kageyama tries to smile.<br/>They sit for a while, stand, and wander. Kids go by, ages 4-15. Suga seemed ecstatic just to see children at all. Everyone else smiled seeing him that way. It wasn't unusual per se, but it was something they saw less and less.<br/>"I'm not a baby, Dai!"<br/>"You're my Baby, deal with it," Daichi chuckles, earning a gentle slap on the cheek.<br/>"You're the worst, Daichi."<br/>"Tch, Yeah, I know."</p><p>-----</p><p>Suga sits quietly on his bed. His eyes are downcast as he weakly kicks his legs as they dangle over the side. He felt weak. He hated that feeling. He could barely feel anything else anymore. In fact, he could barely feel below his waist anymore. He got around well when not with Daichi, but that just made him feel more pathetic and lonely somehow.<br/>This time last year he'd just met Daichi. It was insane to think that it'd been that long. He shuffles off the edge, grunting as he falls to the floor. It was just a few feet. Couldn't he walk just a few feet?<br/>He lifts his hand and holds onto the bedside table, managing to pull himself to his feet again, but it's no surprise that he collapses. Feeling hopeless, he crawls to the window and pulls himself up to his feet, an uncomfortable tingly feeling going through his legs. He places his palm against the glass, shivering at the cold glass against his cold hand. Pale again. Hopeless again. Useless again.<br/>Weak again. Cold again. Sick again. Trapped again. Dying again. Dying, Dying dying, dying- he lets out a cry that was probably louder than the sirens outside.<br/>"Hey, look at me."<br/>Daichi's voice is barely enough to bring him back. He didn't even realize how bad he was shaking or that he was crying. Daichi pulls him tightly against his chest, running his fingers through his hair. "Come on, you're okay…"<br/>"Please don't go…don'tgodon'tgodon'tgodon'tgo-"<br/>"Hey hey, calm down, what's going on? Talk to me, just calm down, I'm right here," The brunette pulls back slightly, gently holding onto Koushi's face, forcing him to look at him. "Suga. You're okay, I'm right here. What's going on?"<br/>It takes a moment for him to recollect his thoughts. "Nothing...nothing, nevermind, just go! I don't wanna talk!" He pulls back, turning on his side and placing his palms against the floor, trying to push himself up, but it's a fail as he expected.<br/>"Hey, slow down, what's going on with you?" Daichi wraps his arms around his waist, lifting him up and putting him on the bed. It's kind of how you would pick up your cat while it's trying to run away from you.<br/>"Just leave me alone.." Koushi mumbles into his pillow, a bit frustrated that pulling his legs up to curl into a ball probably wasn't going to work. Daichi crawled onto the bed with him, a concerned frown on his face. "Talk to me. Please? I don't know what to do when you're like this, I really don't. If you could help me out with that, it would be great…"<br/>After a long pause, an answer is given.<br/>"We both know it, Dai. I'm not making it past this year. I won't live for your next birthday, I'm sorry. But I was so happy with mine. Shouyo was ecstatic too, he was just having trouble showing it because of Kageyama. The wedding sucked for me, but it was so pretty and I liked it. Seeing all those kids on Halloween was my own personal treat. I'm sorry Daichi. But thank you."<br/>He watched Daichi draw in a slow sharp breath and go quiet. Then, after several seconds of sitting in silence, he says "Don't thank me yet...we're not done yet, Suga! We're not...you give up on yourself too easily when it gets super hard and I get it- it hurts, but if you make it, it'll stop hurting, so please don't give up on us now!"<br/>"Dai…"<br/>"I don't know what I would do anymore if you left me at this point and just thinking about it makes me angry and sick, so please- don't...Give up yet…" Daichi turns his head away but doesn't bother to wipe away the tears that had begun to quickly stream down his face. <br/><em>"I don't believe you. You don't seem like the type."</em><br/><em>"The type to what?"</em><br/><em>"To be scared."</em><br/><em>"What's that supposed to mean?"</em><br/><em>"I mean you don't seem like the type to be scared of this sort of thing. You seem like the type of person I wish I was and I'd do much better if I was like you. You seem like you'd be super calm. Wouldn't panic. The initial shock is all it would be for you. Am I right?"</em><br/><em>"Uhm...well that's a good question, I don't know, It hasn't happened, so I don't know what I'd be like. However, I think I'd be just as scared of you if not </em>more<em> scared because I hate not being in control. I hate not being able to have a say in things. I'd go crazy,"</em><br/><em>"I guess you're right. So...you'll stick by me?"</em><br/><em>"Of course I will. I'm not going to be one of the people who walk out of your life because you're sick. I'm gonna stick around and see you through to the end, Suga."</em><br/>"I'm scared, okay? Every time I see you I get more and more scared!"<br/>"Hey-" Sugawara sits up, lifting his hand to gently cup Daichi's cheek and using the other hand as support. "It's okay. I'm scared too," he says as his own tears come back with a vengeance. "I can't give up. Not after you've finally let me see you cry after a year of staying strong for me."<br/>"Then you have to stay strong, too."<br/>"I'll do my best."</p><p> </p>
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